In 1924 restauranteur Caesar Cardini was working in both the United States and Tijuana, Mexico. He was spending most of his time in his Mexico restaurant to avoid those cumbersome prohibition laws in the US. His shop was particularly busy on July 4ththat year and his kitchen began to run short on food.
Cardini sprang into action, began chopping heads of romaine lettuce and whipped up an earthy, creamy sauce and ordered his wait staff to toss the concoction tableside. He came to call his creation the Caesar Salad. There remains much dispute among his family and staff regarding the reliability of this account but it serves our purposes well enough.
Subsequent variations included anchovies, parmesan and toasted bread in the final preparation and the Caesar salad has, since its introduction, been very popular, particularly, in the American west.
In 1970, Iceberg lettuce accounted for over 95% of the lettuce grown in the United States. Its long shelf life, compact head and ease of cultivation made it the choice of lettuce growers everywhere, despite its noticeable lack of flavor. It was about this time that the rest of America discovered the glories of the Caesar salad and romaine production began to skyrocket. Today over 80,000 acres of romaine are in production. Its sweet-bitter flavor and unmatched crispiness make it, to my mind, the undisputed king of the lettuce family. Long Live the King!
Romaine lettuce has been cultivated by mankind for at least 6000 years. Its history can be traced to the Mediterranean region and even its modern name can be attributed to the joy this singular leafy plant brought to the ancient Roman table. But alas, when you find yourself on top, there are those that desire to knock you off the pedestal.
Our beloved green now finds itself under a brutal attack and I for one will not stand by and watch as romaine is slandered by the forces of hate and bigotry.
On November 20, 2018 as Americans were preparing for the Thanksgiving holiday and their minds were distracted by visions of turkey, dressing, sweet potatoes and pecan pie the Centers for Disease Control was busy devising a devious plot to deny us our cherished leafy green. This is the result of their sinister designs:
“CDC is advising that U.S. consumers not eat any romaine lettuce, and retailers and restaurants not serve or sell any, until we learn more about the outbreak. This investigation is ongoing and the advice will be updated as more information is available.”
“Thirty-two people infected with the outbreak strain of Shiga toxin-producing E. coli O157:H7
This is the second Romaine attack issued by this renegade and out of control Federal agency this year.
My latest visit to the neighborhood grocer’s exposed shelves devoid of all romaine and romaine derived products. Usually these shelves are stocked with sun caressed, blue sky canopied and spring rain bathed, deep green and milky romaine, but because of unwarranted, job killing government intervention I found a black abyss, cold and lonely and I wept at what our country has become.
A thinking man can only assume this hideous plot was hatched by right-wing radical government bureaucrats whose fascist political agenda has, at its pinnacle, a return to traditional dining values and who feel compelled to force us all to consume nothing but iceberg lettuce. All because 32 people in 16 states could not fight off a little E. coli bug. We have become weak and afraid. We need strong leadership on this.
Drastic times call for drastic measures and no romaine is drastic times indeed.
I hereby beseech all freedom loving Americans join together in insisting that our elected leaders pass a constitutional amendment to forever after secure our right to eat romaine and halt future government over-reach. We cannot allow unelected government employees to interject their own political agenda on our social structures and deprive us of the rights our founders intended us to enjoy. If we allow them to take our romaine what is to stop them from coming after our radicchio, our red leaf, our Boston, our endive and Heaven forbid even our summer crisp? Once we open the door to lettuce control it is only a matter of time before all lettuce is outlawed and confiscated. Outlaw lettuce and only outlaws will have lettuce!
The people have spoken and if iceberg growers cannot or will not adapt, it is not for the government to mandate our choice of lettuce. Romaine devotees like myself have been fighting this not so subtle discrimination and oppression for centuries and we refuse to give up the progress we have made. We will not return to the dark and repressive days of iceberg and thousand island. A little occasional diarrhea is a small price to pay for a freedom loving people.
Here is what I propose, I call it amendment 2A
“A well regulated refrigerator, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear ROMAINE, shall not be infringed.
To thrust this vital issue into the mainstream and make every day working Americans aware of the nefarious and insidious “shallow root state” inside our government, I will establish a new non-profit to promote and protect romaine and our God-given right to access to this nutritious and delicious leafy green. Restore Romaine Rights: Adopt 2A is our battle cry!
I call it The National Romaine Association. NRA for short.
Join Now!
Donations accepted.
Give me Romaine or give me death?