Eating Goober Peas

The other day I was riding in my pickup truck listening to Eddy Arnold sing that great cowboy classic; Leaning on the Old Top Rail. I don’t have to tell you that it is a song about a cowboy watching as his best pal rides off into the sunset, but promising to return again another day. It’s a great American lament; there is nothing sadder for a cowboy than to watch his pardner ride off without him, facing a future of uncertainty, loneliness, and confusion. Nothing to keep you company around the campfire but a cheap bottle of whiskey and an even cheaper cigar. With a voice like Eddy’s’ if Leaning on the Old Top Rail doesn’t bring a tear to your eye, you have a hard heart indeed.

I was on my way to do a little fishing and my wife and dog were riding along with me but when Eddy comes on they might as well not exist. I am transported to a place where all I can hear is the jingling of my spurs and all I see is the rolling hills up ahead; inching closer as my trustworthy stallion lazily carries me to the west and into the setting sun. It looks something like this:

 

 

An eighteen-wheeler whizzing by will snap you back to reality in a nano second and being a cowboy is hard anyway, harder than you think. It is very similar to being President, harder than most people realize, most people think it is easier than the job they currently have until they actually sit in that chair (or on that horse). Just ask 45 if you doubt me.

When the herd finally gets to market and the cowboy gets his pay, he can at long last reflect on a job well done and spend some reflective time with the fellows evaluating his performance and the performance of the team. He can, thanks to the well thought out feedback from the trail boss, begin the process of working on those areas in which he needs improvement. The American cowboy is nothing if not perhaps overly concerned with self-improvement. The drinking, gambling, smoking and womanizing can wait; the next drive needs to be perfect.

Modern day cowboy pardners Paul Ryan and 45 adhered to the time-tested methodology of the cowboy to improve their failed healthcare bill before bringing it up for a second vote. The next drive needs to be perfect! And like the cowboys of yore, their thoughtful revaluation of all available data paid off in spades.

The bill passed the United States House of Representatives in a grand slam vote of 217-213. The Democratic members of the House were so distraught in defeat that in true cowboy Leaning on the Old Top Rail tradition, they spontaneously broke out into song. They regaled their Republican counterparts with a lovely and touching rendition of Na Na Na Hey Hey Hey Goodbye. We see American history being made right before our eyes, a beautiful moment of American unity and showcasing how Americans know how to lose gracefully. It reminds me of another great moment in our country’s past.

After Robert E. Lee signed the surrender papers at Appomattox, Ulysses S. Grant and his staff, being overtaken by the emotion of the moment began singing another great American Victory refrain: Eating Goober Peas. Rumors have circulated for 150 years that Grant also did something resembling a Rumba.

Peas, peas, peas, peas

Eating goober peas

Goodness, how delicious,

Eating goober peas.

Lee was so impressed that as he was leaving the Wilmer McLean house, he stopped and said to Grant. “With a voice like that I would not be surprised if you become President one day.”

The ultimate American cowboy, Dwight Eisenhower, can be seen here leading the American staff in a round of Springtime for Hitler after the German surrender at Reims.

Using the surrender pens to keep time is a nice touch.

45 was watching all this and wanted to get into the action, so he invited the House Republican good ole’ boys choir to the White House for speeches, snacks and some serious yard singing. Once the choir was in place in the Rose Garden, 45 made a few remarks. Here is part of what he said.

“So what we have is something very, very incredibly well-crafted.  Tell you what, there is a lot of talent standing behind me.  An unbelievable amount of talent, that I can tell you.  I mean it. And coming from a different world and only being a politician for a short period of time — how am I doing?  Am I doing okay?  I’m President.  Hey, I’m President.  Can you believe it?  Right?”

 Enough of the speeches, let’s sing and get to those snacks. Grant and Eisenhower were just born too early. Cowboy pards Ryan and 45 have the ultimate victory song, the song sung at the end of every modern day cattle drive in saloons all over the west. We are the Champions.

Everybody now! Come on Paul, you too pardner, don’t be shy! Follow me everybody. I’m The President can you believe it? Right?”

 

Am I the only pickup driving, gun toting redneck that thinks these kinds of childish displays are gutter politics on full display to the entire world? The world that for all of my life has looked to our country for leadership; both moral leadership and fulfillment of the ideals of freedom and the prosperity that results from a shared vision and an ability to compromise? Let’s take a trip in the way back machine.

Ulysses S. Grant handpicked Union Brigadier General Joshua Chamberlain of 20^th Maine fame to accept the surrender of the Confederate Infantry units at Appomattox. He gathered his troops and placed them in formation along the road to await the arrival of the vanquished foe.

From www.maineatwar.com:

Chamberlain passed an order to his regimental commanders, they in turn to company officers, they in turn to their sergeants, and they finally to the privates: stand at attention as the Confederates came by — and shut up.

Woe to the Union soldier who taunted, mocked, or insulted the defeated enemy!

Chamberlain had decided to honor “the embodiment of [Confederate] manhood,” soldiers who like the Union lads awaiting them had proved that “neither toils and sufferings, nor the fact of death, nor disaster, nor hopelessness could bend them from their resolve.

“Was not such manhood to be welcomed back into a Union so tested and assured?” he thought.

A mounted Gen. John B. Gordon led his shot-to-pieces, fought-out Confederate 2nd Corps across the Appomattox River. Chamberlain saw Gordon “riding with heavy spirit and downcast eyes.”

Suddenly the bugler assigned to Chamberlain’s temporary staff trebled a familiar call. “Instantly our whole line from right to left, regiment by regiment in succession, gives the soldier’s salutation, from the ‘order arms’ to the old ‘carry’ — the marching salute,” Chamberlain said.

“We thus saluted our fallen enemies,” said Gerrish, who with his 20th Maine comrades watched as the Confederates passed by with “a space of some four rods (60-65 feet) between us.”

Hearing the noise as the Union soldiers snapped to “shoulder arms,” Gordon looked at his enemies, then wheeled his mount, “making with himself and his horse one uplifted figure,” Chamberlain said. Gordon touched his sword’s point “to the boot toe,” then ordered “his successive brigades to pass us with the same position of the manual,—honor answering honor.”

Each Confederate division stopped on the road and turned left to face the victors “only twelve feet away,” Chamberlain described a distance considerably less than Gerrish’s estimate. Formed one last time in their neat lines, the “worn and half starved” Confederates then fixed bayonets to their rifles, stacked their arms, and hung their cartridge boxes from the upright rifle muzzles.

“Reluctantly, with agony of expression” the Confederates “tenderly” folded their “battle-worn and torn, blood-stained” flags, Chamberlain emotionally described what happened next. Some soldiers “frenziedly” rushed “from the ranks” and knelt by the flags, “pressing them to their lips with burning tears.”

 After stacking their arms, the Confederates “marched to our headquarters,” signed their paroles, “and then rapidly departed to their homes,” Gerrish said. “And thus the day passed until they all had surrendered.”

Honor answering Honor!

 This is the way Americans are supposed to behave. This is the America the rest of the world came to admire. This is the way Americans should treat each other. This is men carrying in their hearts and expressing in their actions the principles and vision of America that the Founding Fathers dreamed of and desperately hoped for. This is men rallying to the Battle Cry of Freedom!

This is American Exceptionalism!

 Honor answering Honor!

 I hope nobody that saw what happened last week thinks that is OK.

I am not sophisticated enough to know whether or not the healthcare bill passed by the House last week will in fact improve the healthcare system or not. I hope our leaders get this figured out. My wife and I went to the doctor in January for our annual checkup. Our insurance policy grants two free well visits per year. We have not been back to the doctor since but we have paid $6500 in premiums so far this year. Don’t sound like free visits to me, sounds like that free visit has cost my wife and me $3250 each.

What I do think I am sophisticated enough to understand is that the disgusting display we witnessed last week is a betrayal of the very values that have made America the envy of the world. This kind of behavior is insulting to the legacy that great men like Joshua Chamberlain fought so hard to leave to succeeding generations. Childish antics on the floor of the United States House of Representatives or in the Rose Garden of the White House dishonor the women and men who have died in service to their country. This country!

It is time for Americans to rediscover their outrage and direct it not to each other but to our leaders, who if they are leading at all, are leading us straight into oblivion. There are honorable people out there and it is our job to find them and put them in office. Here is how the week ended.

At a town hall meeting Lewiston, Idaho Rep. Raul Labrador responded to woman’s statement that Trumpcare’s cuts to Medicaid will lead people to die by saying ”That line is so indefensible. Nobody dies because they don’t have access to health care.”

I want to beg the good people of the great state of Idaho not to send this dull knife back to Congress. We can’t accept what our leaders mean; we can only accept what they say.

Honor answering Honor!

Yes, you are President. Can I believe it? You are not making it very easy, that I can tell you.

Time to saddle up and hit the trail. I got spurs that jingle jangle jingle….

Love to All!

PS: You have to scroll way down to leave a comment, if you know how to fix this please let   me know. You know who you are.