Congealed Salad

Food is either properly cooked or it is not. Leaving a nice ribeye on the grill until it shrivels up into a dry black mass could be, I suppose, a form of artistic expression, but it is not a properly cooked steak. Many recipes will state with authority that you should place the subject food item in a 350-degree oven and cook for a specified period of time. We see statements like this everywhere. Pasta boxes might indicate that the contents should be boiled for 8 to 10 minutes. Frozen dinners should be microwaved on high for 2 ½ minutes. There is even something called 5-minute rice. Reliance on time is not the way your grandmother cooked.

She did not churn butter for a specified amount of time, she churned the cream until it turned to butter, no matter how long it took. She pinched off a quill from her broom and stuck it into the cake to check for doneness; when it came out clean, the cake was done. She could tell by the exterior color, when biscuits were done. Same with her fried chicken. I bet you never ate undercooked fried chicken at grandma’s house. As for our cooking skills, we have been, I think, ill-served by the kitchen timer.

Time is not an indicator of doneness! We should strive to cook every food item until it is properly cooked, no more, no less, with absolutely no regard for time. This is a learned skill that over time becomes an instinct. 

Grandma would put her green congealed salad in the icebox and with a quick glance, could tell if it was properly firmed up and ready to put on the table in front of the kids, terrifying them with its bizarre color and unnatural textures. A repulsive combination of artificially flavored dyed gelatin, canned fruit, nuts and sometimes, if she really wanted to horrify you, topped with cottage cheese. A most effective trigger for nightmares. I need me some congealed salad therapy.

I don’t want to think about congealed salad anymore!

We have an American pastime or hobby that occupies a great deal of our time. We love to deduce, analyze and pontificate on the Founding Father’s intent with the words they included in the constitution. Politicians in particular seem to relish indulging in this exercise. Judges seem to get paid to do nothing else, it is as if we created a job category just to declare the intent of some men that lived a long time ago. Many of these judging jobs you can’t even get fired from. Great gig.

Americans have done, do now and will forever, argue over the meaning of these words. But one thing we don’t argue about is the fact that it is hard and takes a long time to change the Constitution. The President can’t do it, Congress can’t do it, judges aren’t supposed to do it, but some argue that they do (especially the liberal judges). It pretty much takes all of us to agree to change it and it takes a while to get us all to agree to anything. It is a laborious process, but sometimes a necessary one.

The document itself describes the process for adding or subtracting from itself. Article five in part states:

The Congress, whenever two thirds of both Houses shall deem it necessary, shall propose Amendments to this Constitution, or, on the Application of the Legislatures of two thirds of the several States, shall call a Convention for proposing Amendments…

The authors wondered if there may come a time when a change needed to be made that the members of Congress would not feel inclined to undertake, so they provided an alternative process whereby the states could initiate the process. One such change is the idea of term limits for Congressional members. 

When I discuss this with my drinking buddies, the common lament is; they would never vote for that, so it is a non-starter. The more we drink, the sadder the lament. The sadder we get, the more we drink and round and round we go. How do we stop the merry-go-round?

Alas, this can be accomplished without the vote of Congress. We have 50 states and two thirds of 50 equals, what, 33.5, and since Kentucky is at best half a state, there you go. Really it takes 34 states to get a constitutional convention called without a Congressional vote, I just wanted to take a shot at Kentucky for giving us Mitch and Rand among other things that I will leave for another time.

Poll after poll indicates Americans strongly favor term limits for Congress and it is just as true that Congress would never voluntarily vote this for themselves. But if enough state legislatures vote for this, then Congress would have no choice but to call for a Constitutional convention which would then allow the states to ratify or not the change. It takes 38 states to ratify an amendment to the Constitution.

Slowly and reluctantly have I come to think that term limits may have to be imposed on Congress. There are many arguments against the idea and some have validity. Term limits take away power from voters. Legislating is hard and to do it well is a learned skill. Effective legislators would be forced out and term limits would not prevent corruption.

In the past, these arguments may have been persuasive, but I fear they are no longer so. Career politicians are in perpetual campaign mode, and that means perpetual fund-raising mode and that means they are susceptible to manipulation by the big money interests. (I see some of these politicians on TV and think big money likes them just because they will be easy to manipulate) 

At the end of the day isn’t this exactly the swamp that we have heard so much about in recent years. Many, many good and decent folks have gone to Washington, with high ideals, and noble intentions, only to be overwhelmed and consumed by a system that is by its very nature corrupt. 

We are right now, this week, witnessing another Congressional dog and pony show. Nobody that walks on two legs thinks the outcome of this charade is in doubt. This is just one more instance of politicians putting personality, party and power over country.

Maybe if members of Congress weren’t constantly worried about their campaign coffers or being primaried they would be more comfortable standing on principle.

Maybe they could lead with moral courage instead of being afraid of offending their base. Sometimes leadership is telling folks what they need to hear, not what they want to hear. Not much of that happening lately.

Maybe term limits would provide members of Congress with the freedom to actually work on behalf of their constituents, instead of pretending that is what they are doing. We all can see they are in no way working on our behalf. 

The current state of Congress reminds me of green congealed salad topped with cottage cheese, and that, I cannot abide.

I, for one, am ready to say that while time is not an indicator of doneness for a pork chop, time should be an indicator of doneness for a politician.

R.I.P.T.N.L.J. 8119